How do you know if you are a bully? Do people tell you that you are being mean or rude? An honest self-evaluation of your relationships with others may not be an easy thing to do. If there is a chance that others think you aren't a very nice person, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you feel the need to be in control, or to manipulate others?
  • Do you feel the need to win at everything, and hate to lose at anything?
  • Are you a poor winner by bragging or rubbing it others' faces?
  • Are you an even poorer loser?
  • Do you like when other people experience fear, discomfort, or pain?
  • Are you suspicious of others disrespecting you?
  • Do you have very little concern for how other people feel?
  • Do you lie to stay out of trouble?
  • Are your problems always someone else's fault?
  • Are you willing to use other people to get what you want?

It may be tough to answer the above questions, and maybe you don't really care what other people think. But for the sake of having happy healthy relationships in your future, it might not hurt to think about making some changes. What should you do if others say you are mean or a bully? How can you stop being thought of this way?

  • Talk to someone you trust and respect who will help you look at how you treat others.
  • Put yourself in other people's shoes. How would you feel if you were treated the way you treat others?
  • Appreciate differences in others. Different doesn't mean someone is worse or better than you.
  • Be a positive leader…real leaders treat others with kindness and respect.
  • Ask a friend to help you stop if you start to say or do something that is mean to others.
  • Be willing to make apologies to people you have hurt.
  • Set a daily goal to be nicer to others--say hi, smile, give compliments.
  • Remember that although you may not like everyone, you should still treat others with respect!

Go Back to Bullying Page